roman guevara

RISE UP
Inspirational Readings for Personal Growth

by

ROMAN GUEVARA

“Suffering in Silence”

Scripture:

Psalm 55:22

²² Cast your cares on the LORD
and he will sustain you;
he will never let the righteous fall.

I went to a christmas party last sunday.

I just came from a speaking engagement in the afternoon kaya pagabi na nung nakarating ako sa christmas party na ito.

And while i was making my way inside the house where it was being held, greeting the host and friends alike, e, biglang nakuha ng TV ang aking attention, nung binabalita ng breaking news na pumanaw na ang batang aktor na si Marky Cielo ng starstruck fame.

Now i am not exactly a fan. I don’t even watch TV at all. But im aware that there is such an actor by the name of Marky Cielo.

At bilang isang minister to young people, nalulungkot ako pag me mga kabataang pumapanaw agad, without fully realizing their full potential. This actor kasi was only 20 years old at the time of his death.

Another Mico Sotto. Another Rico Yan.

At sa konting na gather ko sa interviews sa ina nung Marky Cielo, sabi nung ina niya, the few days before the young actor’s death, napapansin niya na lagi itong pagod, at mukhang laging malungkot.  But knowing how secretive he was, na hindi ito mahilig magkwento ng mga dinadala, lalo nat personal problems, ay hinayaan nalang nila ito.

Unfortunately, they will never know anymore kung ano nga ang tunay na bumabagabag sa batang ito, as after only a few days, this young actor, Marky Cielo, was found dead by his mother, in his room, sa house nila sa Antipolo. No one knows how he really died.

Being secretive? Ang hindi pagkwento ng mga dinadalang bigatin at suliranin?

Can this kill?

Can you die because you carry your problems all by yourself?

Bakit ba merong mga tao na ganyan?

Yung hindi palakwento?

Masyadong malihim?

Come to think of it, hindi bat marami din tayong kilala, mga kaibigan, na imbis namang malihim, e madakdak naman?

Bakit sila hindi sila nahihirapan i announce sa buong mundo ang kanilang pagdadalamhati?

Ang kanilang kabigatan?

I remember tuloy isang youth ko dati sa isang church. Babae ito. One day, naka receive ako ng text mula sa kanya. Which is really unusual, kasi hindi naman kami textmates. Sabi niya, “kuya kamusta kana”, e at that time, ok naman ako talaga, kaya ang sabi ko i was doing just fine. And then she said, “e kuya, alam mo naba”. Sabi ko, “anung alam ko na?”. “Na buntis ako?”.  You know what just happened?  Akala niya siguro pinaguusapan siya ng kung sino sinong common friends namin regarding her condition, hindi pa kasi siya married, kaya eto, ina announce na niya to me. Kaso nga lang, hindi ko naman alam. At baka hindi ko naman kailangang malaman. Later i found out, sa ibang common friends namin, ganun din siya. Ganun din ginawa niya. Tinatanong niya kung alam na nila. And eventually tuloy, nalalaman na ng lahat.

Maybe people like them, they have their reasons why they want many people to know their problems. Maybe they really need a lot of people, or even just a few people to know how difficult their burdens are. Maybe they are hoping that if these people only knew what they were going through, e matutulungan sila ng mga ito somehow. O dinaman kaya, kahit hindi sila matulungan directly, at least yung maramdaman lang nila na merong nakakaintindi ng kanilang pinagdadaanan, na meron man lamang silang makakausap tungkol sa mabigat na problema nila, na meron man lang sanang yayakap sa kanila at tutulong pumunas ng luha sa kanilang mga mata, e, siguro yun yon. Yun ang mga dahilan why some people want others, their family and friends, to know about what’s happening with them.

At bakit nga hindi nila ito gawin? Lalo na kung pwede naman silang mag share. Lalo na kung maiintindihan sila pag sila ay nagshare. Lalo na, if there are people willing to listen to them. People who love and care for them. Who will understand. Who will not judge. Who will keep a secret a secret.

Kaso nga lang, not everyone can do this.

Yung magshare ng problems nila.

And why not?

Kasi siguro feeling nila, hindi sila pakikinggan, hindi sila maiintindihan, at kung masyadong sensitibo ang kanilang dinadala, hindi sila tatanggapin. Even by their family. Even by their so called friends.

What’s one of the greatest fears of people?

E yung dahil sa isang lihim sa buhay, isang bagay sa iyong nakaraan o kahit in your present, e, people will be shocked, surprised, bewildered. At magiiba ang tingin nila sa iyo. Mag iiba ang pakitungo nila sayo.

Tapus, worst of all. Sige na nga kahit hindi ka na pakinggan. Sige na nga, kahit hindi ka na maunawaan. Sige na at kung hindi ka talaga matatanggap. Carry muna nga na nagbago ang pagtingin sa iyo. Pero sana naman, secret nalang. Secret mo yun e. Nagtiwala ka sa kanila e, kaya nga nagsabi ka na. Kaso nga lang, siguro alam niyo na ang next?

Yes, people have a hard time keeping a secret, specially kung hindi kanila.

Kahit pa sabihin nila, na wala silang sasabihan.

Kasi, minsan, it’s too much even for the people we speak to.  Some people, hindi nila kaya dalhin ang matagal na nating dinadala. Kaya para maka gaang gaan ang pakiramdam nila, e they will eventually make kwento to others. Goodbye Secret!

Kaya tuloy, some who risked, some who tried once, and got burned, even by their own family and so-called friends, nagka phobia na. Nag decide na sila, na last na yun. Na pag me problem sila, mas mabuti nalang na wala silang sasabihan. Na sasarilinin nalang nila.

Mapa bata, teenager, young adult, married people, at kahit mga senior citizens.

Maraming secretive people everywhere.

Maraming tao ang nagsa suffer in silence everyday, everywhere, anywhere on this planet.

They can be students, professionals, accomplished businessmen, politicians, and even religious leaders.

Kaya nga siguro pumatok yung version ni Gary V. ng kantang “Warrior Is Child”. Kasi maraming tao, ganun na ganun. Sabi nung kanta,

“Lately, I’ve been winning battles left and right
But even winners can get wounded in the fight,
People say that I’m amazing, I’m strong beyond my years
But they don’t see inside of me, I’m hiding all the tears.


They don’t know that I come running home when I fall down
They don’t know who picks me up when no one is around,
I drop my sword and cry for just a while
‘Coz deep inside this armor, the warrior is a child.”

So you could be a Pastor, and no matter how difficult your problem is, e, you can’t share it, lalo na sa mga taong naglu look up to you for strength.

You could be a kuya, an ate, a mother or father, and you just have to be strong lagi, for the sake of your loved ones, kahit the truth is, gustong gusto mo ng bumigay.

Me sakit kang malubha, pero, you would rather keep it to yourself, kesa magworry ang mga tao sa buhay mo.

Financial problems na sobrang overwhelming. Utang left and right. Who wants anyone to know about that?

Or you are a simple person in love with someone, but you can’t tell anyone about it. The person doesn’t know na me crush ka sa kanya, in love ka sa kanya.

You’ve broken up with your lover, o kung hindi naman e, your relationship is not going very well, you have complicated problems, too complicated for your simple thinking friends.

The question will always be, will you tell anyone?

Who can you trust? Who do you tell?

Maraming tao in the world are suffering in silence.

Pero siguro, hindi man eto sapat, pero baka din makatulong, na malaman ng mga nagsa suffer in silence, na hindi sila nagiisa.

That they are not alone in this world.

That there are others like them.

Others who suffer. Who suffer in silence.

Sana pagdating ng araw, meron din tayong masasabihan.

Sana pagdating ng araw, makatagpo din tayo ng mga taong, pwede natin mapagkatiwalaan.

Pero just in case na wala pa, i am reminded, we are reminded, that we can give all our burdens to the Lord.

Pwedeng palakad lakad ka magisa all over the mall, and sometimes, pag ang bigat talaga ng problem, palakad lakad ka all over the city, while you are crying, while you are grieving, why don’t you just talk to the Lord, and cry out to him. Give him all your cares. Let him hear what no one else knows. Let him hear your voice cry out. Magsumbong ka sa kanya. Magsabi tayo sa kanya.

Minsan, parang nakakapraning, nakakabaliw, ang mga dinadala nating kabigatan.

Tapus, wala kapang masasabihin? Pano ka ba namang hindi mabubuwang.

Mamaya kung ano ano na ang nasasabi mo. Nagagawa mo. Naiisip mo. Na balang araw you will regret because it was bad for you pala.

Ako, paggalit na galit, tapus wala akong masabihan, bad habit ko yung shopping ng shopping. Gastos ng gastos. Kahit wala na ata akong pera. Very bad. Very foolish.

Anu pa ang mga kakaiba, at nare regret nating ginagawa, all because, we are suffering in silence?

We have the right to be angry. You have a right to be sad.

Wag mong sarilinin. Wag mong hayaan na masira ka ng iyong mga problema.

Mahirap kung sa mahirap.

Problems, pressures, and the pain that go with them, they come into our lives. Sometimes, nakakagulat how they are just here na. Parang yesterday lang, buo pa mundo mo, pero now, it’s all gone. Your world has fallen apart.

Some people are just dumbfounded. Litong lito, panu biglang nangyari ang nangyari.

And you ask yourself, what did you do wrong?

Did you deserve everything wrong that’s happening to you right now?

It hurts.

It’s painful.

At ang buhay, laging may dalawang mukha.

Habang ikaw ay lungkot na lungkot, ang iba naman, galak na galak.

Sa bawat pinapanganak sa isang ospital, in that same building, meron ding namamatay.

Life is not always easy.

For some people, just when they thought, everything was ok na, suddenly, the truth will be revealed, reality will hit them, and you just can’t do anything about them, right now.

So what can we do?

We who suffer in silence.

What can you do?

This may be expected, but, what else can we do? What should we always do, pag sobrang bigat, sobrang sakit, sobrang hirap dalhin ng buhay?

We run to the Lord.

We run to his arms.

Talk to him.

Magsumbong tayo sa kanya.

Let him love you.

Others may not.

You may feel na parang walang nagmamahal sayo.

Pero, subukan mo. Sa mga oras ng kabigatan, kalungkutan, kahirapan.

Subukan mo uli.

Just let Him love you.

PRAYER

Lord help me. I have no one to tell. You are the only one i truly trust. Help me Lord to forgive. Help me Lord to heal. Help me Lord to understand. Do not allow me to do anymore foolish things. Hold me by your hand. Rescue me from myself. Be my defender Lord. Be my strength. Be my one true friend. I cry it all to you. I cry them all to you. Please embrace me. Please embrace me. I offer to you my tears. I give you my heart. Help me Lord. Help me Lord. Please be my guide. I live, i will always live, for you.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 9th, 2008 at 7:10 pm and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.